dude i'm inner monologue high
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
