That's when you crack a 10am beer
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
