so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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