A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
