just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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