it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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