he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
