I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
