I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
