My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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