Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
