So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
