I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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