I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
