my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
