i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
