would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
