I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
