I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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