I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
