i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have fence marks all over my body
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
