Your tits are I can't wait for
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
