I think my vagina is haunted
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
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