i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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