At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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