she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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