So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
