Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
