Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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