He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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