you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
