so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
