I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
