I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
