Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
