My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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