True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
