My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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