found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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