I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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