If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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