we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
