Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
