had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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