More tranny stories later!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
