She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
