Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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