If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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