she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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