my mouth tastes like poor choices
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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