i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
